Alright, I'm going to admit I'm not doing so great at this blog thing.. I have become too reserved I believe. I think I'd be too reserved even in writing a private diary. It is just something I haven't done in a long time. I guess it's about time I share some stuff.
My memory is shot...
Without even realizing it, and for no reason that I can think of, I have blocked out at least 90% of my childhood. I don't think I had a bad childhood... in fact I had a pretty good one. A few years ago I was telling a friend's mom how my mom's divorces didn't bother me. I honestly didn't think they did. I don't remember ever being sad or anything when I was young. My mom's side of my family pretty close and I was always surrounded by them or friends. I never felt like I wasn't loved because I knew my mom would do anything in the world for me. I was told though that it did bother me and it showed. I'm not sure why I don't remember it. I don't remember much of anything really.. I can name some big events in my childhood.
I remember playing with hot wheels in the kitchen floor with my cousin, and then getting in trouble for saying "shit." I remember my other cousin throwing a basketball at me and knocking the wind out of me. I remember hiding in the cave that was in our old house and pretending to have the hiccups so my cousin would feel better, and I remember him calling me out on it. I remember sitting on the bed and my mom told me if I wanted to beat him up I could. I remember going to my best friends house and jumping on the trampoline with her brother. I remember one time we washed my hair on her bed in a big bowl of water because she wanted to play with my hair..
Even into high school and adulthood I forget stuff if its not a big event.. I remember my wedding, the day my husband left for deployment, the day I found out I was pregnant, when he got home and the day my daughter was born.. I remember big events but most stuff I just don't remember. I hate when I'm talking to an old friend and they're like "oh my gosh remember when we did this..." and I honestly don't remember.. I hate it but I just can't help it.
The best job ever...
I quit the best job I ever had because I couldn't stand my boss, who got fired not long after I left. I worked for a newspaper in a community I love and I got to do the things I loved all day and got paid for it. Honestly nothing excites me more than rushing to a house fire and just walking around taking pictures (don't get me wrong here.. I feel horrible for the family involved, but fire looks cool on film). Or taking pictures of architecture. I loved getting all the angles and I loved being able to show the community what they missed. I hate now that I see something happened and I'm curious but I never know because I'm not on the inside anymore. I also loved the design part of the job. Just clicking around on the computer and designing pages of a newspaper. I loved making it look interesting and fun to read. I hate it looks so pathetic now and it seems like the staff is just clueless..
Here is one of my favorite shots from my job.